These are the memoirs of me, a 14 year old freshman whose passion is anything artistic. My life tends to get a bit crazy, I guess I just need an outlet. There's going to be some of my original poetry, sketches, and just funky stuff I've found or made, as well as a personal journal.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


Shes amazing. gorgous. && mine. so...whats the problem. ahhh whats not the problem? im so frigging lost. telling mommy? AH how? i cant predict how she will act. how she will react. sleepovers... are they done? holy crap. what am i supposed to think? ahhhhhhhh my mind is spinning. it wont stop and chill for a minute. a second. its just spinning round and round in this crazy world... but see my mind.. it spins the opposite direction of the rest of the world... its going clockwise. damn my mind to some eternal place of understanding and contempt.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


OK so now im a total loser and most of my time online is talking to ppl on myspace... lmao but now im gonna try to blog again. i havent been on here in foreverrrr but whatever, so yea... anyways... whats new with me?
best friend: CASSIE!!!!! My exotic Puerto Rican lover(lol)
umm other best friends.... Ivan and Ally and Tanya... Drew im not too sure about and umm lol lots of other people like nic and sam and jeff and megan that i love!! umm things have been insanely crazy...
guy drama is lame and it sucks but basically... i had an "interesting" break... and you guys?

lol from crying my eyes out with cassie for hours over new years... to getting the flu... to ~him~ to chillin witt ivan and my peeps[yea im a dork whats wrong with that] break was... crazy but good. mannnny memories and mannny lame pictures taken with cassie...
check a few out on my myspace...

sooooooooooo yea....
o i have aim now.. have for like..ever lol its... a lame name and i tried to change it like 6 times but no names i want are there so its just gonna stay as this until some other random name pops into my head...
Aim~ AmaRettOinMySouP
and my windows/msn messenger... same as always for all of u in chippewa :]

umm its 3:03 in the morning and i just couldnt sleep and im gonna get like 3 hours of sleep and i have school... so im gonna go...

Much love

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Soccer, school, and a guy...

Well, soccer is kicking my ass... well actually my joints! Thanks to my trusty Ace bandage for my knee, and Ibuprophen , I'm surviving. I'm in better shape then I thought... but there's one problem. Varsity is awesome but Como's J.V. team... well we lost all three of our scrimages (I refuse to mention the RHS game's score), and our first game of the season against Harding (easily the worst team in the league) sucked. A horrible loss of 0-3. Ouch!(But varsity won 8-1!) We play Mpls. South tomorrow... wish us luck! We NEED it!

Freshman orientation is tomorrow! OMG! So the schedule-game bus leaves at 2:15, and the game starts at 3:30, 1hr. and a half we play, then we take the bus back, and hopefully find time to change because orientation is at 5:30!!!!!!!! Wowzers!

Now for the guy. Not only does he live a few blocks away from me, but I have to go to school with him for the next four years, and he's in my homeroom! Well, here's the deal. I met him just over two years ago, and he's "liked" me since, but I've never been into him like that[well so i told him... and hes not ever finding out that thats not true!!!!].' So what's the problem' you may be asking... well no doesn't seem to stick, and I like talking to him, he's a great friend, but like 4 of the last really good guy friends I've made, he keeps on trying to take it a step further. I want to be his friend, and I just can't avoid him hes one of my best friends... so what am I supposed to do... just deal I guess. Any other suggestions?

That's all for now! Talk to you later!


Friday, August 18, 2006

My Myspace...

Ok ok ok I admit it, I caved... a few of my friends were a bit being a bit pushy and tried to convince me to get a myspace. Well, if you want to check it out, click the link below!

The link!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Straight from my sketchbook, this was inspired from my know desire to again take up the art of dance.

Do not copy without my permission(includes copying as your own, posting on the web, in a blog, etc.).

Getting Behind the Ivy Covered Walls

Getting Into an Ivy League or Second-tier University
Standing out, getting noticed, applying and actually getting in.
For a fair-skinned, blue-eyed, white female, to get behind the Ivy covered walls of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, etc. I need more then good grades and test scores... I need a 4.0 GPA(or better) and SAT scores somewhere between 1500-1600. But wait, that's not enough! I need to stand out, and yeah, extra-curriculars can put me over the top... But working at a hospital or homeless shelter won't cut it. All over the U.S. privileged students of wealthy families are paying a mere $5000+ to travel to Peru, or Ecuador, or Australia to teach kids English, or rebuild damaged ships, etc. But what does a white female do when she lives in poverty, eating the government's food and is striving to buy clothes at even Savers? You find something that makes you stand out... something original, but not impossible for you in your situation. No, a cure for cancer isn't in my list of options... I could write a novel, or start a business, or volunteer to go to Peru (with all of the money that I don't have)... but can I do it? Well, here's my plan. Yes, I would love to write a novel, but that takes time and dedication and it wouldn't be enough, so that's what I plan to do in my spare time, something I dream to accomplish. At this point in my life would I fly to Peru? Yes!, of course, but can I afford approx.. $6000 to do that? Nope, nadda, niet, NO! So, what to do, what to do...I am going to spend the last month of my eighth grade summer vacation spending as much time as possible learning how to design a website. I plan to design my website, and start a business all on my own. I do dream for it to be successful, but I will be honest, along with fulfilling a dream that I've had for a long time, I also hope it will fulfill another dream I've been (somewhat) secretly harboring for years, and that is to go to one of those top schools, and become someone successful. A journalist possibly, or maybe just take courses in business, that has not been decided, for I feel I am far too young to be sure. But I dream that one day I am happy, and can provide for a family that I would love to have. I know what I have to do, but the fact that I can't be sure of anything scares me more than I would like to admit. I know hoping for the best won't cut it, so I have to spend the next four years of my life working torward a goal, and that will take extreme amounts of effort on my part. But if I work hard enough, the reward could be worth each moment I spend searching for scholarships and grants that will be almost as important as my acceptance letters. Live for today and live each day of your life to it's fullest. I do not wish to take credit away of those two famous phrases, but I would like to add bit on. Live for today and live each day of your life to it's fullest, but never lose sight of your goals, dreams and aspirations. That is what I live my life by, I hope my theory proves worthy of the time you took to read it, and I wouldn't mind I it helped me through life a bit.
By Mandi Marie
August 9th, 2006
Do not copy without my permission(includes copying and calling your own, posting on website or blog, etc.).

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Trivia Question #1

What has the head of a man, body of a lion, and tail of a scorpion?

*Hint* Also title of a novel by Robertson Davies.



Answer: Manticore

Lorelai's Quirky Charm!

Istanbul was Constantinople... and, therefore, if you have, say, a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

Bush Whacked

What's wrong with the world
It's spinning, swirling, whirling and twirling

Sending our troops out to get Saddam Hussein
Losing our allies
Doubtfully, in vain
Twin towers falling down
One after another
The Pentagon's five sides
Crashing and crumbling

For the U.S. of A.
There's nothing but tumbling

Bush whacked
All of America
Doing the unthinkable
Preaching the links of countries connected
When he's really just crashing down their walls
Building a barrier

Not respecting women's rights
It's not right
Abortion's our option

Banning gay rights
Starting bigger fights

Working the world
Until he pisses everyone off
It just trips me up
To see what he's doing
To see what he's runing

I make you aware here and now
Ban Bush and his represenatives
Make a better America
More fair, brutally aware
Free your mind, body and soul
And just vote!

Non-republican! PLEASE!!!!

By Mandi Marie
Do not copy without my permission (includes posting as your own work, or on websites, blogs, in books, etc.).

Shiva in Disguise

I hear the chatter of the bugs
Beneath the dirt's surface
Here I lie for all to feast
My skin, my bones, my hands, my feet

I won't be protected much longer
They will seep in
Take my mind
The asylum won't wait
They'll come in due time

I walk the lonely path
Of trying to find
The happiness
Sunshine and fluffy bunnies
They all eventually die
I view the world through a mist
Of a snake's venom

Flow in
Poison my thoughts
Leave two holes
Infringed upon my skin
Shield torn down
I lie alone for now
In a coffin filled with empty dreams and sorrow

Blood drained out
Blades of the windmill are nothing but dull
I am a wick burned down to its very beginning
A Shiva in disguise

My insides rot and I forget
I forget and my mind wears away
I have been faced with death
Even a Shiva in disguise is afraid.

By Mandi Marie
Do not copy without my permission (includes posting as your own work, or on websites, blogs, in books, etc.).


Pale skin
So smooth, so cold
Completely neglected
Lost and forgotten

Beads of water
Hit pale skin
So hot, almost painful
Yet pale skin shivers

Fog and mist
Fill this empty air
Scorching water
Cleanses pale skin

Exit stage left
Water spills no more
Pale skin
Now filled with color

Moment of relief
Now disappears
Silhouette of pain
Is ever so clear

Image is reflected
In reliable mirror
Image looks back at pale skin
With nothing but fear.

By Mandi Marie
Do not copy without my permission (includes posting as your own work, or on websites, blogs, in books, etc.).


Line after Line
Word after word
I stare at this paper
With nothing but hurt
Each time I think of you
I want to forget
All of the times
I have to regret
Your mind is empty
Nothing but space
Chemicals burning away
At all of the thoughts
You have forgotten each lie
Many moments of deceit
You hurt those around you
They all have forgotten your voice
Each smile
Every tear
They matter no more
Moving on is our only choice
But for some that is their only fear
Moving on
And forgetting each year
I am that someone
And I am afraid
Of moving on
And making another mistake.

By Mandi Marie
Do not copy my without permission(includes posting as your own work, or on websites, blogs, in books, etc.).


By Mandi Marie
Do not copy without my permission (includes posting as your own work, or on websites, blogs, in books, etc.).

This is one of my ORIGINAL sketches!!! I love it for some reason...I chose it for my profile pic...poetic royalty...I think you get it...right?

Memoirsof a teenage poet...?

OK, yes, you're right! My life is totally boring lately and considering my blog's title, where the hell is the poetry? Well I haven't been writing anything top notch that I want to post, but maybe I'll start posting whatever... but you might want to check out my Spuffy(Spike + Buffy) fanfic story Three's a Crowd on the sPUFFYrEALM! My SR penname is MarstersGirl-you can click any of the previous links to find my story! I am going to admit that it's far from my best work, but it had a good storyline and hopefully it'll improve!
p.s. If you didn't already know, Jacinta and I are complete buffyfreaks! (btw, you also can check out her abso-freakin-lutely-awesome story Harajuku Girls(by BuffyFreak) on the search on the site! i'll admit-her story kicks some major demon-ass!

School is (almost) in session-but first...

Well, school is coming-september 5th! I have to get some cute clothes and... cleats!
I'm starting soccer on Monday-yikes! I am hoping there isn't any hazing to deal with... I'm not really into being a narc, but that isn't my bit. I know football has problems with it (I have an inside source), but hey, maybe I'll get lucky! I'm excited, plus, I get to see Jacinta which is cool, it's been a while... considering what I'm giving up to go to this school, it better be worth it!
~cURRENT mOOD~WhaTeVEr!!!.!!!.!!!

Minneapolis Craft Mafia ~This Thing of Ours~

Hey all! Well I am the first (and currently only) teen of the Minneapolis Craft Mafia... but we accept pretty much anyone who has cool stuff and is willing to participate. Our site is :) simple enough! you are also encouraged to check out the other craft mafias( if your interested in joining a CM in your area! We're just hip crafters who want to sell our stuff, get some press, and be a part of something!
The founder's(and my mom's) website is and my site is!
Check us out!
~cURRENT mOOD~ calm, but pumped(this song does that)!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Prarie Home Companion

Yes, this movie felt a bit close to home... but it didn't stop the throbbing head ache that completely ruined the show. I am a girl of true music-like the Ramones (which calmed me down the second I walked out of the theater!). Two hours of non-stop country hell! Well, you may have the urge to ask why I went... well my grandparents wanted to go, and I had no clue what it was about, so I agreed(as long as I had permission to pretend Lindsey Lohan was someone other than, well, Lindsey Lohan!). It had a couple cute parts, but if you're not a country fan or really into anything about Minnesota, this isn't the film for you!

A Friendly Hello